Saturday, July 28, 2012

Feeling Lost

I'm feeling a little lost lately, like I really don't have many true friends, mostly since I became a mom.  Most of who I thought were my friends live 3 hours away from me.  And while we still get along ok it's just not what it used to be.  And honestly, I get a little frustrated with them and with their moms, who I was pretty close to as well. 

In general, all my frustration in this situation comes from them making comments and apparently not realizing how offensive they are.  Last night I attended a get together with them at one of their houses.  During dinner R had a poopy diaper which I got up and went to the opposite side of the living room to change.  I overheard a very negative conversation between my friends' moms about how they were sure glad they didn't have to mess with cloth diapers anymore.  Here's the thing...I CHOOSE to cloth diaper my baby for a variety of reasons and honestly have not one time in the 7 months we have been doing it regretted that decision.  Them acting like it is a disgusting thing that I'm somehow being forced into is, in my opinion, rude and unsupportive.  Also, their daughters claim they would LOVE to be able to stay home with their kids like I do R, but they just can't quite afford it.  So, when I got back to the table I said something along the lines of "at least I do all I can to save money so I can stay home with my son instead of just wishing I could and not doing anything about it".  That was probably equally hurtful, but darn it, I'm SO tired of the criticism!  I'm not asking you to change my son, wash or even touch his diapers so WHY do they need to make comments that are hurtful?!

Then my friend who is having a baby soon was opening some gift and her MIL had very generously gotten her a Ergo carrier, which my friend had been wanting.  She has 2 active little ones already and was wanting something to help her keep up with all three.  She mentioned that you could carry a child up to 40lbs in it, which immediately raised comments from the "older mom squad" of how ridiculous that was, she just needed to use a double stroller.  I am loaning her a Moby and commented that the way the Ergo is that I think she can wear the new baby on her front in the Moby and her 2 year old on her back in the Ergo, but that she would have to check for sure because I have a different soft structured carrier.  The OMS was APPALLED by this comment and made some VERY hurtful comments about how yes, she could do that, and then she could go out and pick some corn by hard.  HELLO!  They all saw me wearing R at a recent community event and D and I farm!!!!  HURTFUL!!! 

And these are people I drive 3 hours to see because I have no friends where we live now because there aren't really any groups I can join and D is always too busy for us to go to any social events. 

Sorry for the rant, I just think people are pretty rude these days and don't even get it.  I genuinely hope I haven't ever hurt a new mom's feelings in a similar way! 

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